Yesterday I opened that hostel gate again, after more than a year. It seemed so normal, as if just some time back I had gone out to pick a milk packet or something and come back HOME. I tiptoed straight to our territory, avoided the house owners like I had always done. I went up the stairs and peeped inside the kitchen. A pair was busy making coffee there. I sort of scared them, or rather they scared me with that expression on their faces. “ Ok. So its taken you one year to come back here.” Then the smiles said Welcome Back!!.. And, these 2 were just mere hostel mates. No deeper friendship here. Still.
I finally reached my floor. My room, Vidya’s room. Vidya, Nupur and me. All of us on this floor were like a family bound to each other by something which I cannot quite describe. This floor somehow always got people like me together. The owner would always show all the empty rooms and as if these rooms were meant for us here, our roads were destined to cross, people like me chose this floor.
This was the 3rd time I was meeting Vidya after I had left Pune. Yet, nothing has changed with her. She still cannot get herself to look into my eye for longer time. She cannot crack a joke with me like she used to when I was around. She cannot hide the hurt at all. It makes something in my throat ache. Nupur keeps the conversation going, I do it too. We laugh. Vidya just tries to.
I know too well why she cannot talk to me like she used to do. Yet I ask her. Nupur innocently ends up saying , “ You not talking to her Vidya, because you think she betrayed you, right?” Vidya argues, yet our eyes meet.
I had left Pune prematurely. The realisation hits me in my gut one more time. I was the one who never wanted to leave Pune. To ensure I get some more time with Pune and everyone here I had taken up a job even before completing my course. Yet, I left too soon.
It goes back to that day. Vidya and me were eating jelly. I was so happy. My roomie was leaving. ( She had accidentally chosen this floor and realised it soon enough.)This would mean in the 3 sitter room, Vidya could officially move in with us as my new roomie. Anyways, she always was in my room. But Vidya said No. She said she did not want to move in with us. I was hurt. She said she needed her space. I said I understood it the best. I knew her too well to invade her space. Then she had said what happens when one of us leaves.. That we would one day. But we could have the time of our life before that day, if we moved in together. She said she might leave in next 3 months. That shook me.. to an extent that I left Pune prematurely.
I mean I only reacted. I applied to my present company, just for the sake of it. Because I did not want Vidya to leave me. I did not want to be left alone..again. But things went out of hand the day I received an offer letter from the company and in a day I was forced to leave everything behind. One more time .Family said it was logical. I knew I hardly ever lived my life with any logic.
But I left pune.. Yesterday, on my way back, there came a guy who was selling some second hand books. I got the one with A heartbeat away written on its jacket.
I finally reached my floor. My room, Vidya’s room. Vidya, Nupur and me. All of us on this floor were like a family bound to each other by something which I cannot quite describe. This floor somehow always got people like me together. The owner would always show all the empty rooms and as if these rooms were meant for us here, our roads were destined to cross, people like me chose this floor.
This was the 3rd time I was meeting Vidya after I had left Pune. Yet, nothing has changed with her. She still cannot get herself to look into my eye for longer time. She cannot crack a joke with me like she used to when I was around. She cannot hide the hurt at all. It makes something in my throat ache. Nupur keeps the conversation going, I do it too. We laugh. Vidya just tries to.
I know too well why she cannot talk to me like she used to do. Yet I ask her. Nupur innocently ends up saying , “ You not talking to her Vidya, because you think she betrayed you, right?” Vidya argues, yet our eyes meet.
I had left Pune prematurely. The realisation hits me in my gut one more time. I was the one who never wanted to leave Pune. To ensure I get some more time with Pune and everyone here I had taken up a job even before completing my course. Yet, I left too soon.
It goes back to that day. Vidya and me were eating jelly. I was so happy. My roomie was leaving. ( She had accidentally chosen this floor and realised it soon enough.)This would mean in the 3 sitter room, Vidya could officially move in with us as my new roomie. Anyways, she always was in my room. But Vidya said No. She said she did not want to move in with us. I was hurt. She said she needed her space. I said I understood it the best. I knew her too well to invade her space. Then she had said what happens when one of us leaves.. That we would one day. But we could have the time of our life before that day, if we moved in together. She said she might leave in next 3 months. That shook me.. to an extent that I left Pune prematurely.
I mean I only reacted. I applied to my present company, just for the sake of it. Because I did not want Vidya to leave me. I did not want to be left alone..again. But things went out of hand the day I received an offer letter from the company and in a day I was forced to leave everything behind. One more time .Family said it was logical. I knew I hardly ever lived my life with any logic.
But I left pune.. Yesterday, on my way back, there came a guy who was selling some second hand books. I got the one with A heartbeat away written on its jacket.
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